I’ve been thinking about the Wanter lately. It’s something we talk about a lot during what I now refer to as my Monday morning cabal. I always wanted to be a member of a cabal. As a kid, my cousin and I played private eye and we used to take the cards that fell out of magazines and fill them out with made-up names and lives to file away like dossiers on people we were investigating. I grew up to write thrillers. So yeah, a cabal is right up my alley. And it sounds a hell of a lot sexier than a support group or a coffee klatch.
The Wanter is a term my neighbor refers to often during our cabal. He’s not sure if he read it somewhere or came up with it himself but over time I can see that he’s made it his own. His basic premise is this: unless you engage your Wanter, whatever changes you are trying to make will not happen.
I’ve never really been too sure what the Wanter refers to but once I found Sonia Simone’s piece on change, it started to make more sense. If it’s true that people like myself, those artistic types who rely on whimsy and inspiration, work on the premise posted by Simone, “what do I want out of this,” then the Wanter becomes a real force. Here lies motivation. Hedonist that I am, change is more likely to occur if I engage my Wanter.
There is obviously a difference between wanting something, as in I-want-to-lose-weight, and the Wanter, and Simone’s what-do-I-want-out-of-this? I want to lose weight is a goal that requires changes in behavior that I apparently won’t actually do until I connect the behavior to my Wanter. I assume answering the question, “what do I want out of this?” will help make that connection. My neighbor has a similar exercise, which I still don’t quite understand, but that seems to require “honest inquiry” to suss out my “real desire.” Both he and Simone intimate that it’s a kind of “I’ll know it when I see it” thing. The answer will just feel right.
So far, I’ve talked about it. I’ve journaled about it. I’ve slept on it. I’ve made an “honest inquiry” about my “real desire.” But I’m afraid I’ve got nothing. And I’ve gained 2 pounds.
Finding out what I really, really want appears to be harder than it looks.
H’oh boy.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
The Wanter is a term my neighbor refers to often during our cabal. He’s not sure if he read it somewhere or came up with it himself but over time I can see that he’s made it his own. His basic premise is this: unless you engage your Wanter, whatever changes you are trying to make will not happen.
I’ve never really been too sure what the Wanter refers to but once I found Sonia Simone’s piece on change, it started to make more sense. If it’s true that people like myself, those artistic types who rely on whimsy and inspiration, work on the premise posted by Simone, “what do I want out of this,” then the Wanter becomes a real force. Here lies motivation. Hedonist that I am, change is more likely to occur if I engage my Wanter.
There is obviously a difference between wanting something, as in I-want-to-lose-weight, and the Wanter, and Simone’s what-do-I-want-out-of-this? I want to lose weight is a goal that requires changes in behavior that I apparently won’t actually do until I connect the behavior to my Wanter. I assume answering the question, “what do I want out of this?” will help make that connection. My neighbor has a similar exercise, which I still don’t quite understand, but that seems to require “honest inquiry” to suss out my “real desire.” Both he and Simone intimate that it’s a kind of “I’ll know it when I see it” thing. The answer will just feel right.
So far, I’ve talked about it. I’ve journaled about it. I’ve slept on it. I’ve made an “honest inquiry” about my “real desire.” But I’m afraid I’ve got nothing. And I’ve gained 2 pounds.
Finding out what I really, really want appears to be harder than it looks.
H’oh boy.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
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