In her article, “The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things Done,” posted on the Remarkable Communication website, Sonia Simone writes that in order to get something done--complete a goal, finish a project--you first have to know what it is you want to get out of it. I believe this is about finding proper motivation. We're on step one of seven, folks.
I understand that I am a hedonist. And, as Simone points out, I am very good at doing something I want to do. So how do I connect my goals, which require long-term discipline, with an immediate reward? How do I change all those “have-tos” into “want-tos?”
Interestingly enough, Joey Klein encourages us to do something similar--through meditation, attach a positive emotion to healthy behavior you want to repeat. Simone suggests a flakier approach: Take a pen and paper and write down the answer to the question, “What do I want out of this thing?” She would have me keep writing, being careful not to “adopt someone else’s formula,” and answer the question in a way that feels real to me. If Simone is right and my super power as a flake is that I am very good at doing what I feel like doing, answering the question should plug into some very strong motivation.
While Simone’s methods seem less about a lifestyle change and more appropriate for “getting things done”--it’s right there in the title, folks--I’m game. Looking back at my New Year’s resolution to get healthy and sell a book, I can’t say I’ve made much progress. Dry January did not lead to Fit February or Moderate March, words I ambitiously doodled as possible post titles. Still, I do feel that, well, I’m sorta, kinda learning some important stuff. The bubble in the lava lamp isn’t exactly rising to the top but it’s getting bigger there at the murky bottom. I just need to apply more heat.
So, what do I want to get out of losing weight? It’s as good a place as any to start and something I’ve done more times than most--here, I’ll refer back to my Renee Zellweger comparison, my Bridget Jones/Chicago weight swings. I probably could teach a course on weight loss having done the crazy diets, the sensible diets--the Nutrisystems, the Weight Watchers, the South Beaches, the cleanses, the personal trainer with the heart of gold and the workout ethic of a masochist. I know how to lose weight. Keeping it off? Not so much.
When I ask myself what do I want to get out of weight loss, the usual suspects come to mind about looking fabulous in my fifties or feeling good about myself again because I faintly resemble those women on the magazines--we’re talking the cover of MORE not Vogue, here, so everyone relax. And frankly, those bitches are a little too hot, making even the act of aging an Olympic event. Really? I’m supposed to look like Julianne Moore in my fifties? Really? But if I’m to understand Simone’s exercise, what I need to uncover is motivation powerful enough to actually get me to want to eat less and exercise more, two things that don’t seem to be a part of my DNA.
I spent a good hour discussing my “want” with my therapist--who did help me come up with a great reward system for working on my book but who warned that long-term changes like abstaining from alcohol or losing weight can be a good deal tricker for someone with my personality type. I also spent time sweating over the free weights with my trainer who tried to sell the “endorphins” angle, how exercise gives a mood boost--if only I were willing to actually do an hour of cardio.
My trainer did get me to agree to leave my “den of sin,” her name for my house, three times a day and walk to the gym, which happens to be a mere two blocks from my home. Once there, I am to attempt 10 minutes of cardio. Her thinking is that I have lost touch with the usual motivators--the compliments on weight loss and the desired health benefits--because I am instead holed up in my “den of sin” with my vino and my Real Housewives. No one is reaching out from that television set to encourage me to eat right and burn 500 calories a day (Although I find the Real Housewives of New York very motivating--bitches look good!).
I tried to get my husband involved, hoping that together we could come up with a reward system that would motivate the both of us. But his blank stare over his Chinese chicken salad said, “I got nothin’.”
Thus far, everything I’ve come up with seems like I’m “adopting someone else’s formula.” Nothing “feels real” to me, although my discussions with my therapist, trainer, and husband have me feeling a little motivated. But I know I’m not there. Celery and the elliptical are not calling to me. I haven’t even come close to finding a “want” here. So I’m going to employ another one of Simone’s methods: I’m gonna sleep on it. Ask my unconscious to grapple with my motives over weight loss and see what churns up.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
I understand that I am a hedonist. And, as Simone points out, I am very good at doing something I want to do. So how do I connect my goals, which require long-term discipline, with an immediate reward? How do I change all those “have-tos” into “want-tos?”
Interestingly enough, Joey Klein encourages us to do something similar--through meditation, attach a positive emotion to healthy behavior you want to repeat. Simone suggests a flakier approach: Take a pen and paper and write down the answer to the question, “What do I want out of this thing?” She would have me keep writing, being careful not to “adopt someone else’s formula,” and answer the question in a way that feels real to me. If Simone is right and my super power as a flake is that I am very good at doing what I feel like doing, answering the question should plug into some very strong motivation.
While Simone’s methods seem less about a lifestyle change and more appropriate for “getting things done”--it’s right there in the title, folks--I’m game. Looking back at my New Year’s resolution to get healthy and sell a book, I can’t say I’ve made much progress. Dry January did not lead to Fit February or Moderate March, words I ambitiously doodled as possible post titles. Still, I do feel that, well, I’m sorta, kinda learning some important stuff. The bubble in the lava lamp isn’t exactly rising to the top but it’s getting bigger there at the murky bottom. I just need to apply more heat.
So, what do I want to get out of losing weight? It’s as good a place as any to start and something I’ve done more times than most--here, I’ll refer back to my Renee Zellweger comparison, my Bridget Jones/Chicago weight swings. I probably could teach a course on weight loss having done the crazy diets, the sensible diets--the Nutrisystems, the Weight Watchers, the South Beaches, the cleanses, the personal trainer with the heart of gold and the workout ethic of a masochist. I know how to lose weight. Keeping it off? Not so much.
When I ask myself what do I want to get out of weight loss, the usual suspects come to mind about looking fabulous in my fifties or feeling good about myself again because I faintly resemble those women on the magazines--we’re talking the cover of MORE not Vogue, here, so everyone relax. And frankly, those bitches are a little too hot, making even the act of aging an Olympic event. Really? I’m supposed to look like Julianne Moore in my fifties? Really? But if I’m to understand Simone’s exercise, what I need to uncover is motivation powerful enough to actually get me to want to eat less and exercise more, two things that don’t seem to be a part of my DNA.
I spent a good hour discussing my “want” with my therapist--who did help me come up with a great reward system for working on my book but who warned that long-term changes like abstaining from alcohol or losing weight can be a good deal tricker for someone with my personality type. I also spent time sweating over the free weights with my trainer who tried to sell the “endorphins” angle, how exercise gives a mood boost--if only I were willing to actually do an hour of cardio.
My trainer did get me to agree to leave my “den of sin,” her name for my house, three times a day and walk to the gym, which happens to be a mere two blocks from my home. Once there, I am to attempt 10 minutes of cardio. Her thinking is that I have lost touch with the usual motivators--the compliments on weight loss and the desired health benefits--because I am instead holed up in my “den of sin” with my vino and my Real Housewives. No one is reaching out from that television set to encourage me to eat right and burn 500 calories a day (Although I find the Real Housewives of New York very motivating--bitches look good!).
I tried to get my husband involved, hoping that together we could come up with a reward system that would motivate the both of us. But his blank stare over his Chinese chicken salad said, “I got nothin’.”
Thus far, everything I’ve come up with seems like I’m “adopting someone else’s formula.” Nothing “feels real” to me, although my discussions with my therapist, trainer, and husband have me feeling a little motivated. But I know I’m not there. Celery and the elliptical are not calling to me. I haven’t even come close to finding a “want” here. So I’m going to employ another one of Simone’s methods: I’m gonna sleep on it. Ask my unconscious to grapple with my motives over weight loss and see what churns up.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
RSS Feed