I have discovered a new KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid) to achieving personal change. Whenever I am faced with a challenging situation or a choice that will affect my goals, I ask myself, “Where do I want to be? Where am I now? What can I do in the next 20 minutes to get myself closer to where I want to be?”
I found this method reading, “The Complete Flake’s Guide To Getting Things Done,” by Sonia Simone, posted on the Remarkable Communication website. In her piece, Ms. Simone addresses the needs of people who are creative and smart, funny and charming, people who care more about experiences than about stuff. Simone’s flakes talk a good game but have trouble getting results. They have plenty of desire but need to learn how to get things done. Basically, Simone is describing me.
Simone sets out 7 reasonably painless steps. To paraphrase: 1) figure out what you want to get out of the task, 2) notice the difference between where you are and where you want to be, 3) choose a next step toward your goal, preferable something you can do in 20 minutes, 4) focus on actions that you really, really want to do, 5) repeat steps 1 through 4 until it feels right, 6) harness your unconscious and keep track of its insights, 7) keep it to 3 to 4 areas of change. She refers readers to Robert Fritz’s “Pivotal Technique,” from his book, Path of Least Resistance and David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, both of which I plan to read. I found her short and easy-to-read article to be a gold mine of information, but my basic take-away is this: Know what I want and why I want it and realize how far I am from what I want, then do something in the next 20 minutes that gets me closer to what I want. Easy peasy.
Simone calls upon what she refers to as the flake’s superpower--we are very good at doing what we feel like doing. I am a confessed hedonist so if someone says I can use that as a superpower to achieve my goals I am so in. Her mental exercises involve things like asking your unconscious to let you know what it is you don’t like about a particular action, then find a way to get around it. Unlike mindfulness and meditation, this approach does not intimidate me--I don’t feel overwhelmed. Not in the least. The fact is, Simone is speaking my language.
After studying her take on how to get results, I’ve been using a kind of shorthand. I ask myself the following, “Where do I want to be? Where am I now? What can I do in the next 20 minutes to get closer to my goal?” So when I sit down to lunch with a friend, instead of hitting what I refer to as my “fuck-it button” and ordering those yummy Hawaiian spare ribs, I ask myself, “Hey, you want to lose weight because your goal is to look better and feel better. You’re going to forget the taste of those spare ribs pretty damn fast--in fact you already know exactly what they taste like because you’ve had them before--so choose the chicken salad with the dressing on the side. That’s a decision that gets you closer to fit and fabulous.”
I plan in the weeks ahead to delve more deeply into Simone’s 7 steps, one step at a time. But in the meantime, those questions I ask myself have already started to make a difference. And more importantly, they feel right ... which means there’s actually a chance I will follow through.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
I found this method reading, “The Complete Flake’s Guide To Getting Things Done,” by Sonia Simone, posted on the Remarkable Communication website. In her piece, Ms. Simone addresses the needs of people who are creative and smart, funny and charming, people who care more about experiences than about stuff. Simone’s flakes talk a good game but have trouble getting results. They have plenty of desire but need to learn how to get things done. Basically, Simone is describing me.
Simone sets out 7 reasonably painless steps. To paraphrase: 1) figure out what you want to get out of the task, 2) notice the difference between where you are and where you want to be, 3) choose a next step toward your goal, preferable something you can do in 20 minutes, 4) focus on actions that you really, really want to do, 5) repeat steps 1 through 4 until it feels right, 6) harness your unconscious and keep track of its insights, 7) keep it to 3 to 4 areas of change. She refers readers to Robert Fritz’s “Pivotal Technique,” from his book, Path of Least Resistance and David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, both of which I plan to read. I found her short and easy-to-read article to be a gold mine of information, but my basic take-away is this: Know what I want and why I want it and realize how far I am from what I want, then do something in the next 20 minutes that gets me closer to what I want. Easy peasy.
Simone calls upon what she refers to as the flake’s superpower--we are very good at doing what we feel like doing. I am a confessed hedonist so if someone says I can use that as a superpower to achieve my goals I am so in. Her mental exercises involve things like asking your unconscious to let you know what it is you don’t like about a particular action, then find a way to get around it. Unlike mindfulness and meditation, this approach does not intimidate me--I don’t feel overwhelmed. Not in the least. The fact is, Simone is speaking my language.
After studying her take on how to get results, I’ve been using a kind of shorthand. I ask myself the following, “Where do I want to be? Where am I now? What can I do in the next 20 minutes to get closer to my goal?” So when I sit down to lunch with a friend, instead of hitting what I refer to as my “fuck-it button” and ordering those yummy Hawaiian spare ribs, I ask myself, “Hey, you want to lose weight because your goal is to look better and feel better. You’re going to forget the taste of those spare ribs pretty damn fast--in fact you already know exactly what they taste like because you’ve had them before--so choose the chicken salad with the dressing on the side. That’s a decision that gets you closer to fit and fabulous.”
I plan in the weeks ahead to delve more deeply into Simone’s 7 steps, one step at a time. But in the meantime, those questions I ask myself have already started to make a difference. And more importantly, they feel right ... which means there’s actually a chance I will follow through.
This is my year of change. I hope you join me.
Please feel free to comment below.
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